1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
