At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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