I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
