i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
