i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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