i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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