I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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