porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
