My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
that is very illegal...i love you.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize