CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
