Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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