I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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