you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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