Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
