that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
