is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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