i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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