do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
