i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
