she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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