I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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