Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
