I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
