apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i now understand why vodka
I enjoy the company of your penis
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