Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
