Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
