I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
