Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
