Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize