You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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