My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
