I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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