You can't special order awesome
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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