Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
