He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
This is not my ceiling
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
