you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
