AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i think i just lost a toe
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize