ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
