So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
