Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize