i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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