Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize