I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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