i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
