i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
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Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
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I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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