He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Your cock deserves a montage
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
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Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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