shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Alive.
So much puke
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
