I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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