All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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