No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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