there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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