ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize