I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
