The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
