Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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