so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
