so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
