when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
