so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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