The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
