none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
