He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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