Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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