we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
