I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
