i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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