Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize