Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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