Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
