you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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