Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
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brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
nutella sex= disaster
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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