I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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