in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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