Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
